The Christian Life is a Fight, a Good Fight

I'm trading my sorrows...I'm trading my cares....I'm trading my sickness...I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord.
This is a song I was just listening to. This is something that I just want to cry out to my God, crying out in His name, calling, asking Him to hear my cry. I'm letting it all go for the joy of the Lord. There is another song I was listening to today from a movie (which is really odd), but it really touched my heart. In one part a girl just starts singing but in a very strong, like crying-out-to-the-Lord way, and I felt exactly like her. I felt like I just wanted to scream my lungs out and ask Him, "FATHER, CAN YOU HEAR ME?? BECAUSE I CAN'T DO THIS BY MYSELF!!!!" I just feel like I need Him so much, I feel so desperate. I feel like Paul describes, "pressed on every side...unable to find the way out...persecuted...cast down..." I feel like I'm being attacked in such a strong way by the enemy; I've truly never felt this way before. And it's hard, it's very hard. It's specially hard when you feel like you're on top of the world one day and the next you feel defeated. And this is how I've felt the past few days, utterly defeated, and it's like I can't get back up again. I'm willing to fight, but I hardly find the strength; the reality of the verses in Ephesians where the Bible states that we are not fighting against mere flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world-rulers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil, against the enemy himself, is becoming my experience right now. I've cried out to the Lord with utter desperation and although I know there is still a struggle in me, I feel He's little by little showing me He's with me. This is what I need, I just need to know He's with me and I know I'll be okay. So I'm encouraged to know we have the spiritual armor of God to fight this war; the Lord has given us everything we need, and He is with us. He is with me. The verses I mentioned above, the context in which Paul is writing is one of encouragement. He says, "We are pressed on every side but not constricted; unable to find a way out but not utterly without a way out; persecuted but not abandoned; cast down but not destroyed..." (2 Corinthians 4:7-9). These are so incredibly encouraging. The Lord never said it was going to be easy; on the contrary, He goes out of His way many times to warn us about how difficult and painful it is to follow Him. He Himself even said, "Do not think I have come to bring peace on the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword." (Matt. 10:34). He's given each of us a sword to fight for Him with, we just have to be trained in using it. People don't just spontaneously know how to handle a sword the first time they pick one up, at first it's heavy and difficult to dominate, but with practice they learn, the more they are trained to use it the better they become. So now I'm being trained, I'm being trained to fight as a soldier for my Lord. I still have a lot to learn, but I will not give up because I am a young person and the young ones are strong and the word of God abides in them and they have overcome the evil one. (John 2:14b)

Jesus is our only God, Lord and King. Amen.